Alive

Yes.. I'm still alive.
Things have been crazy, but are now slowing down.
I feel like I'm in a better place, not totally 100% me, but getting closer.

Recent changes:
The girl now attends private school. She's been there since Nov. 1 and is a completely different person. She loves school, tells me what she learned about at school, and reading is starting to happen with leaps and bounds. The girl is VERY MUCH mine, because she loves to read. Anything she can get her hands on. *Which makes me a very happy mommy.

The girl sold 90 boxes of Girl scrout cookies...most of which have been delivered.

Me and the hubby got a new washer and dryer for Christmas. They have been delivered and I absolutely LOVE them. Clothes are cleaner and softer, still waiting for the first water and electric bill since getting our Energy Star appliances :D

Me and the hubby also got a new DSLR camera. It has officially been dubbed Birthday and Anniversary and Mother's/Father's day present for 2010.

Both presents were deals that we couldn't pass up.


I passed my National Boards. I've submitted my licensure paperwork to the state. Hoping by Christmas, I can start massaging people for a fee! ;D
In all honesty, I'm most excited about that. Massage therapy is what I'm passionate about. I'm able to help people feel better, without inflicting pain.

I've officially joined the Red Hat ladies..lol, of course I'm only a pink hat, but it is a wonderful little social outlet and what I'm hoping to use as a networking tool.. (Yes, I can be that devious! lol)

So, if you are still around, yes, I'm still alive..and will hopefully blog more regularly.

*Oh, and I'm supposed to get Nephew #2 today :D
*And in the past month I have been bombarded with pregnancy announcements...which can get old really quick...but I'm happy for all of them and wish them the best in their respective pregnancies.

Tooth Fairy

Looks like the Tooth Fairy will be making her first appearance at our house tonight!

Loose teeth are the grossest things EVER!!

I'm beyond grossed out by the wiggling and wobbling going on in the seat next to me.

Unfortunately, it is to the point it has to come out tonight or there would be a good chance of the girl swallowing it while she sleeps.

Busy

The girl is keeping me on my toes.
Between cheerleading practices, games, and other engagements pertaining to such, we also have girl scrouts now.
Her goal is to sell 200 boxes of cookies.


I've yet to decide where I'm going to head with my blog..It really doesn't fit in the IF ring anymore...so it will likely return to its original material...meaning a lot about us and the activities we do.

We went and picked apples and pumpkins on Sunday. It was fun. I still have to bake a pie with the apples and decide what to carve on my pumpkin. (not to be done for at least a week.)

Not much else going on.

:( How to

How do you stop wanting something that is the basis of your genetic make-up?

Now that me and my husband know we can't have kids, how do I stop wanting?
I know my husband is an excellent father. I want so bad to have a child with him, as I know he wants the same. How do I supress the desire to hold an infant with my husband's eyes?
The initial depression has gone away (thank goodness, as it was horrible), and has been replaced with this come and go wanting.
The somewhat crappy part is that I know what I'm missing with feeling a life grow within me.
I know that my husband would have cherished seeing my stomach grow with a life we created.

I'm not in the depths of despair anymore, but I can see a holding pattern developing. I'm still holding onto a dream I know can't be reached.
I can see this holding other areas back as well.

I know I have more than most. I have a wonderful daughter who continues to make every day special.
It just hurts to know I can't fulfill everyone's wish...A sibling for the girl and a child for me and my husband.

Getting used to this "new life" sucks.

Marathon Training and Cake Class Finale

I have officially started training for my very first marathon/half-marathon/long distance.

(*Ultimate goal is a marathon. Pretty sure I'll run a half before that though, and throw in a few 5 and 10Ks as well)

Since I've been kicked off the TTC island, I needed some other long range goal.

So Disney Marathon Training it became!! (2011, not the one coming up in January)

So far it is going.

First day was 1.5 on the treadmill...about killed myself answering a phone call from my mom and was struggling to jog .25 mile....It was BAD.

Took day 2 off (listening to my body to prevent injury)

Day 3 was 3 miles on the ol' treadmill in the basement.. It went well. Jogged a minimum of 1.5 miles this time (in .75 increments).

Not 100% what I'm going to do tonight...Will probably do a repeat of last night and hope to do 3 .75 increments...We'll see.

Last night it took about 36 minutes for 3 miles. (which doesn't average out in my head because I pushed the 4 mph button)...But that's ok! If I can continue on with the 4 mph on OUR treadmill and end up with a better than 15 minute mile, I'll be excited and it will buy me time!!

In other news, I had my final Wilton Course 3 class.

We were required to make a tiered cake. I made a 12 inch square carrot cake with homemade cream cheese icing with an 8 inch round double layer top cake (triple chocolate fudge w/buttercream).

If turned out cute and I had a lot of fun. I am taking some time off of cake decorating (well, the month at least) to work on some home projects.

Getting the cake ready for class was a PIA...I was stressed, my chocolate cake kept crumbing up the icing and I was running late.

I do believe I said F IT and then went to class.

Class went well, I had fun, it turned out cute and that is all that matters.

So, without further ado (about nothing), a picture of my final creation!! :D

Merry Christmas!!

Merry Christmas to us!!

Our thoughts of going on a beachy vacation for Christmas have been halted.

Instead of one week of awesomeness, we've opted for 22 days of awesomeness.

That's right.

We are buying half season hockey tickets.

And we are SUPER excited!

Gotta love hockey!! (Yes, I really do love it..We have a most awesome hockey team with some of the best fans!)

So, our Christmas present to ourselves is 22 hockey games.

Next year we are hoping for full season....but we'll take what we can get !!!!

Day by day

One step at a time.
Each day is a little better.

Helps that some of the hormones have worked their way out.
It still sucks, but I'm accepting.

Over 24 hours without any breakdowns.
I just keep focusing on today.

(*ok, I lie a little...also thinking ahead to Christmas time)

Speaking of which, depending on what the next few weeks bring, we will be heading south for Christmas...
I'm thinking Corpus Christi.
The girl wants to see the beach and we want to take her.
*Can't afford to take her to the beach we'd like to take her, but one day we'll return to Grenada :D)

Not much else going on. Hubby is slowly recovering from his procedure. We are both feeling better.

Glad it's the weekend!